Filtering the noise..

Today, it seems that the world is becoming noisy and chaotic day by day. Not because of any unexpected event or political debacle ( which though keeps happening everyday), but more so due to the consistent, unstoppable noise we are allowing in our life. This noise comes from social media ( Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn), Television, news channels, YouTube videos, Netflix shows, text messages, Gmail or Outlook emails, Zoom or Facetime calls, WhatsApp group updates, sale offers, discount coupons, free subscriptions, loan requests, new deals and what not…..All this marketing and information tsunami bombards us in a gargantuan way!

I wonder if we are ( or have) forgotten to live a calm, serene life. Our life is slowly becoming as if we are living to absorb all this gigantic information created by us for our own disposal. Hardly can we stay away from our cell phone or laptop nowadays. Psychologist have invented a new word for this – ‘Nomophobia’, which means the fear of being without a mobile device, or beyond mobile phone contact. Did anyone imagine our life would become so much entangled in this web of information and our minds occupied to remain online, 24X7, just that we don’t miss some update or important information? After all mobile technology, or say Iphones were only invented, and brought into market after 2007. and it took few years to get them universalized worldwide. So, roughly, its been just a decade since our life has been caught up by the mobile network.

Even, social media has been there since last 10-15 years only. LinkedIn started in 2003, Facebook in 2004, YouTube in 2005, Twitter in 2006, (all straight in a row, more of a coincidence I believe) all became ubiquitous in the last decade itself. Internet has been for a while, but since the beginning of 3G, 4G and onset of handheld, touch screen based mobile phones, we completely became connected to the Web. Infact we have become so used to Google, that we call Google as Internet. And even worse, when Google went down few weeks before ( just for an hour or more), people tried to google on Google to know why Google went down! Nothing more can show how dependent our lives have become on the internet, social media and phone technology.

But amidst all this never ending pandemonium of data, I find that our day just gets spent in absorbing the information we are thrown at. We get the news from news channels and news apps. And the news channels have programmed their transmission to send breaking news every hour, which never breaks! The social media wall sends millions of tweets and posts every day, which the advanced data analytics breaks down into whats trending, and what hot in the market. The marketing companies are more than vigilant to keep posting us attractive ads, coupons, discounts, offers consistently as everything is done online these days, including shopping from food to clothes, gadgets to beauty products. These apps are equipped with AI such that if I don’t open or use a particular app for one day, it sends me some of the cutest messages like ‘We miss you’, ‘Hey Foodie, are you hungry’, ‘Hey, its been a day since we last saw you!’. C’mon, we don’t shop everyday, or even eat outside everyday. But these apps and their cutie messages, will make us visit their apps and shop even if we don’t need. That’s capitalism 101 here.

Now, as most of us have seen or faced this chaos everyday, it is difficult to stay away from all this. Ofcourse, we have the option to disable the notifications, or even not use the apps at all. I tried to deactivate Facebook several times. I reduced my YouTube channel subscriptions. But then after a few days, I simply couldn’t avoid to take a glance of whats going on the Facebook Wall, or even checkout a favorite YT channel. I couldn’t sever my greed to visit these shopping apps during festival sale, or even on a particular day like Valentine’s day, just for the offers or discounts. Ofcourse the endless emails or WhatsApp group updates is something not in our control, except to mute them. But again, the problem of losing out of some crucial info or even a friend’s picture makes us dwell in for sometime during the day. Infact, during the coffee breaks, or even rest room breaks, all we do is hang on to our phones and scroll through the social media. We pride ourselves in staying busy every minute, but I wonder if this busyness is of any real importance. Because most of the content is just surfed, and skimmed, which hardly makes any impact in our life.

Hence, this filtering of noise in our life is something of a herculean task now. I do not yet have a answer for this. Many psychologists and tech experts advise to minimize the use of social media and phones, and even follow a ‘No-Phone Day’ on weekends, or Sunday. But the real question, is it even possible now? Has our life become too much entangled in this web of networking? Is there any way to filter out this noise from our life? Does uninstalling apps, or deactivating social media accounts, make our life calmer, better and happier? Is it possible to live almost an isolated life without this swathing world of information age?

I do not have definite answers, but I do know these questions and quest for their answers is what matters more than all the fancy offers or breaking news out there. Our health, our mind, our career, our productivity, and even our relations with our family and friends is dependent on this. I hope we find a balance by filtering this noise and reliving a calm yet productive routine.

Why is depression on the rise? part 2

Continuing with this topic, there are some common causes for people to often get depressed in life. This includes consistent failures/setbacks, losing a dear one in family ( parents/wife or children), health issues such as incurable diseases, financial problems/debt, and even hereditary from family. There is no perfect one stop solution to address the effects arising from varied sources. But to understand why this generation suffers more than previous can be studied and discussed.

One of the main understanding is the way my generation lives. My generation has been dependent on technology more than all the generations combined. I have already mentioned about the facebook effect, and other social media exposure. But along with that, the lifestyle itself is enormously altered by today’s technology. The way we eat junk/fast food leads to health effects such as obesity and which thereby leads to a bad physique. No wonder then guys and girls feel terrible about their looks, and this acts as a domino effect to trigger their moods. Not being in shape makes them feel jealous of those who are in good shape, and thus the mental trauma starts. People then step into gyms and fitness programs, but not everyone can manage to get in ideal photogenic shape. This all adds up in depressing thoughts and lack of self worth. So, as simple as eating habits can even lead to increase in depressive thoughts.

Failure in achieving a goal or aim in life is one of the most common causes to get depressed or even commit suicide. Failing in competitive exams like IIT entrance or going bankrupt in business, failing to fulfill parents wishes, or even failing to become famous actor or actresses are some of the most common failure driven depression. I have seen one of the friends commit suicide due to low grades in grad school. We all know the infamous Sushant Singh Rajput suicide case. I was shocked to read that India has the highest suicide rates in South-East Asia. And the fact that there is an infamous forest in Japan called ‘Aokigahara’ known as ‘Suicide forest’. All this shows how serious depression can get. But unfortunately, the society always blames the one who does the act. But what conditions made him do the act is hardly questioned. There is one famous movie ‘The Social Network’, based on Mark Zuckerberg’s life. In one of the scenes, Sean Parker tells Mark about the story of Roy Raymond. The case of Roy Raymond is a perfect example of what can failure and depression do. But the movie scene also conveys the underlying message that if we don’t want to end up like Roy Raymond, we need to keep working hard, and never quit. It seems like Mark took Sean’s advice pretty seriously, and that’s why Facebook has become one of the richest companies in the world. But I do feel that not everyone can become Mark, and blaming Roy ( which the movie scene unfortunately does) is not the solution to get away from depression. It was obviously Roy’s mistake to give up, but the situation that made him do so is also equally culpable.

Then, this generation is also living in a nuclear family unlike my parents or grandparents generation, which used to live together. Adding to that, is the nation’s family planning policy ( China’s One child policy or India’s ‘Hum do, humare do’ Two parents and two children policy). Many couples today cannot even afford to raise two children, and hence, many of my generation are raised alone. Due to rising cost of living, it is increasingly becoming difficult to a make both ends meet with a single earning. More ever, we see that the kids and teenagers often spend their time in playing video games, on social media and watching movies. Things even go worse when friends get together and get involved in wrong habits including smoking, social drinking, or even violence. Unlike previous generations, today’s teenagers and young adults often find themselves alone without support from family. Hence, they try to find like minded groups or even to pass time online, by making friends with unknown people in online chat rooms, or on dating sites. This always does not work, and can lead to addiction, or even sexual harassment, which further leads to depression.

Relationships have never been so fragile before as seen today. Just like the hire and fire corporate culture ( better known as Trump’s culture), breakups and patchups have become the current norm in romantic relationships. The options to find a partner have increased through dating apps like Tinder, OkCupid, Aisle etc. Many of them provide a platform for speed dating or even casual dating, with no stings attached. Many of the couples who want to date casually find this convenient, and they carry on a ‘Friends with Benefits’ type relationship. But the problem is human mind does not comprehend such type of relations. Things can speedily go from casual to serious for one of the partners, but the other one might not accept this. And so this leads to breakup, but emotional attachment is something cannot be erased overnight like swiping on such apps. So, such type of online dating and casual relationships often leads to heartbreaks and headaches, and soon they find themselves depressed and undergoing therapy.

Then, I find a sense of serenity missing in my generation. I have seen my grandfather and even parents having a feeling of serenity towards life and its problems. ‘Come what may‘ was the attitude they had towards problems which came in life. They did not get depressed when things did not work out, or when they had to walk on the path filled with thorns. Maybe because the previous few generations had seen some of the toughest time in human history, be it wars, fight for independence from colonialism, fight against poverty & inequality etc. But inspite of all the problems, they were mentally strong. They did not give up easily. But this generation is exceptionally blessed with all the comforts and leisures. This is also the fruit of the hardwork which our parents and grandparents did back then. That’s why we are living a good life, with abundance of resources like food, clothes and tech gadgets. The kids today get whatever they want, many times they don’t even have to ask for it. This lifestyle has led to a loss of value in achieving things. Ofcourse, there are many teenagers and young adults out there who do value what their parents have given them. But the attitude to face problems of life with serenity cannot be taught in richness or through books. Only life’s tough experiences can teach it, and hence, the excessive luxury with which my generation has been living has made them more vulnerable to lose faith or get depressed easily in life when things go on a rough side.

Thats why, we are seeing more and more people getting depressed in life. As discussed, there are many reasons and we do not have one perfect solution to solve it. The combination of modern technology, food habits, family structure, affluent lifestyle, social pressure, boundless aspirations etc have lead to rising cases of depression and even worst in suicides. I do believe that inspite of all the education or technological prowess, my generation should learn about mind and act like social humans. Today’s capitalist and market driven competition makes us run towards more education, better jobs, higher salary, hefty bonuses, enormous profits in business, getting the job done, make and break relationships, fast food and drink culture, and many more vices. As mentioned before about the example of Roy Raymond, it can be said that he was a perfect victim of a capitalist driven system where one mistake can end up losing confidence, hope and life at the end. Ofcourse, there is nothing wrong to work for a better standard of living, which can certainly be obtained with good education, better job prospects and good salary/business only. But only achieving these things is not life. As J K Rowling wisely said in her harvard commencement address,

personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life..

J K Rowling

However, There is No Alternative to go back towards old living like our grandfather’s generation did. We have to progress ahead and we cannot go back. But we can know our mind, and take things calmly. Meditation can be of great help here. Spiritual practices are known for making us calmer, and peaceful inside. But more than anything, the first thing to cater this problem is the awareness and acceptance towards this issue of depression, and thereby suicides with an open mind is extremely important. Only then can we solve this problem, and save lives. This post should not end here, but rather make the readers think and act to do something to help those who need a ray of hope in their life!

Rushing through Life!

How technology has created a rush in our life!

The world has changed immensely in the last few years. Everything happens quickly, instantly nowadays. If we want some information, just Google! If we want to connect with someone, just WhatsApp or connect on Facebook with them. If we need something, Amazon is at our service. The physical boundaries on the planet have been surpassed, and no longer any obstacle or any iron curtain can prevent us from connecting with someone.

On one side, when we can have anything at our finger tips, but on the other side, this change has created quite a few problems for us. First, this fast and instant result oriented world has created a deficiency of patience in us. We are slowly losing our power to be patient. Our forefathers had an impeccable sense of patience. They used to wait for years for results to come, or even to get any information. They had to work hard to find that info, and hence, this tested their patience. But we on the contrary, can get that info within seconds, and so we are forgetting the value of patience. This generation seems to live a life where waiting is like waste of time, and when having patience is looked down upon. We want everything to be happened instantly, and hence, we rush our life to get what we want.

But in our natural lifetime, nothing can happen without having patience. We cannot grow up from childhood to adulthood instantly. We cannot get all the education or knowledge in the world immediately. Relationships and bonding cannot form within seconds. All this takes time, and that’s where the importance of patience comes in. But unfortunately, Google, Facebook and Instagram cannot teach us the importance of patience, as they thrive upon the need for urgency, rush hour and fast communication. For them patience is like a deadend!

Then, the next problem we are having is Fear. Yes, I am right. We are becoming more fearful than ever. Because when we rush things out, we tend to lose them quickly as well. As we are getting things instantly, we are no longer enjoying the fruit of the hard work to attain it. Because technology has made it possible for us to keep us away from actually being involved in the process.

Let me give an example. Before mobile phone technology came in, the only way we could reach out to our loved ones were the telephone, or letters. Unlike mobile phones or social media, it was not possible for real time tracking or connecting with them anytime ( 24/7). But our foretathers and generations before used to travel across continents, countries, fight in wars, explore forests and mountains, and still were brave and patient enough to remain away from their family and relatives for a long period of time. But in this generation, we see that we hardly can stay away from calling or texting our loved ones, if they are not at home or away without leaving any message. We can’t even stay away from our phone for more than few hours. Ofcourse, people say that technology was not available in old times, and hence, they had no option but to wait. I agree that we are very fortunate to have all the latest communication modes at our hand, but the side effect of urgent and fast communication has led to a form of conditioning of our mind, that we are losing patience, and becoming fearful if we are not able to reach out to our loved one instantly. That is a problem we are seeing in modern times.

And finally, I see the most concerning problem brought in by technology rush is the instant self-gratification. Its like a genie which has escaped out of the bottle! We make friends within seconds just by sending a friend request. We don’t even know about the other person whom we are sharing our messages and pictures. We see something on Amazon or Flipkart, and we instantly want to buy it. And the best thing is it gets delivered overnight. Google has made our life so simple that we don’t need to remember any facts, or birthdays, or even road maps.

Instagram, Facebook and Twitter are the universities of self-gratification. We spend a lot of our valuable time in studying in these universities, and we then learn to master the art of self-gratification. It leads us to becoming narcissistic, self-concerned, devoid of patience, fearful of what society thinks of us, and status conscious.

All these attributes are of no use in life. Infact, they are the vices which our forefathers avoided, and which our parents & teachers taught us in school to be careful of.

Hence, even though the modern technology and social media applications have made our life better, simpler & smarter, but this rush and fast paced world impacted by the technology has brought in its own vicissitudes. Even though many things can be done instantly today, but life itself has its own pace. As mentioned before, we cannot change the way our body grows, or how relationships mature. We cannot alter the time it takes for the seasons to change, or even for the human reproduction. Everything takes its own time. We cannot get instant peace of mind using some app, or neither can we attain mastery over a subject by googling over. It needs time, and patience, and hard work. And that is the only way to become proficient at something. Be it becoming an athlete, writer, doctor or even becoming a mother!

Technology has created an illusion that if we go slow, then we stagnate. But this is not true. Everything has its own pace. There is no need to rush or hurry for anything. Its okay if it takes time to learn or get a job or make friends. The technology and apps are designed to work faster, and give instant results. Because they are machines made of circuits. We are not. We are humans, and lets evolve at our own pace. Lets not rush over life, else sooner or later, life will rush away from us!



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