Dealing with the past

Many times, we often get overwhelmed with the past events which had occurred in our life. Those past impressions are very deep and cannot be erased easily. Dealing with them becomes like a never ending struggle.

Similar things are happening in my life too. Especially in this pandemic, when we all are kind of jailed inside our homes, and when we are done with our office work, bored with the Netflix, all we want are a few moments of aloneness, quietness. And at that time, I often start riding the journey of past memories.

I experience that there are so many things in our life, that happened before, maybe few years back, or even few days back, but somehow we get stuck into it. It doesn’t matter if they are good ones or bad ones, rarely do we forget them. Maybe, the probability to remember the bad ones are more than good ones. This is because we take the bad experiences personally. Those memories, regrets, fights or breaks ups hurt. But the good ones we often don’t recollect. Only when we are made to remember, or even brought our attention to it, that’s when we realize we had a good time before. Like these lockdown times have made us realize the good days when we used to go out for a vacation, long drives, eating in restaurants, hanging out with friends etc. We value the good times only when they are gone, isn’t it?

Even regrets are something which make us value that particular person or act who we later in life. For me, I regret that I wasn’t with my mother for the last few years. Now that she is no longer with me, I value her so much. It’s difficult for me to write about this as she is so much dear to my heart.

Even with some of my friends, I know I did not behave well, or I wasn’t a good friend either. I made some mistakes, and they did too, but unfortunately, we just took those mistakes seriously, and drifted apart. Sometimes, I realize, we all can be very selfish. It doesn’t matter, who we are, we all make mistakes, we all break up good relations, we all run away from our own people, even country. And then someday in future, we all feel bad and regret for the past actions.

We read in books that the past is gone, it’s time to move on, live in the present moment, or learn from the past etc. Maybe all this is right, but do these few words really help us to forget the past? I don’t think so. Though I agree that we cannot dive into the past too much, especially over thinking, or regretting about it is practically of no use. Because however we might want to time travel, but we can’t.

I think looking at the past like a mirror might help to deal with it. Because even though there might good and bad memories, happy and sad times in the past, but the important thing is we passed through it. We went through the ups and downs. Not everyone can do it. Because we all know someone who couldn’t cope with the down times, with the dips in life.

But when we get through it and look at the past, we should be proud that we have evolved through this journey. It’s like a mirror which shows us how we changed as a person. Because the past is the perfect judge. It’s verdict is hardly objected by us. Because it’s the truth, it’s what happened and denying that will never work. We might want to stay away from our past, but our past never leaves us. It’s always there in some corner of our deep mind, or even in our heart, depending on the emotion or person who was close to our heart. It’s okay to feel bad for the past mistakes, it’s okay to even cry for the loss of loved ones. I think it’s better to accept than to run away from past.

Because acceptance will make us stronger. It will make us brave to face the law of karma, for whatever action we might have done or whatever happened in our life. It will evolve us to move on for the future, because the burden of past has been lessened with its retrospection in the present moment. We will then realize our life is like a kaleidoscope just like the movie, or biopic which rolls on a film…..Sometimes we are heroes of our achievements, sometimes we are villains of our mistakes, but all we can do is to ACT in this movie called LIFE!